Selling yourself a future version of happiness?
“Life is precious”
“Life is a gift”
“Seize the day”
“Live in the now”
“Live like there is no tomorrow”
We have all heard these generic expressions which uplift us momentarily, giving us a sense of freedom that anything is possible given the chance.
If we just changed our thoughts our perception of life would soon follow suit and life would unfold beautifully into the way that we had hoped right?
But what does this actually mean?, and deep down do we truly believe this to be true?.
If you are like me then you try live as presently as you can, taking each moment of life with the up most of gratitude. Living contently that you are working towards your goals and one day things will fall into place but for now we know why we are doing the things we are doing.
We ALL have dreams and aspirations, and most of us work really HARD towards those goals to make them a reality. Sometimes it feels as if life keeps moving the goal posts, life takes over with commitments and somewhere along the way the happiness of the present moment was taken over by stress and fear and we convince ourselves we have to go through this to get to our end result.
Unknowingly this way of thinking can spiral out of control whereby we end up
“SELLING OURSELVES A FUTURE VERSION OF HAPPINESS”
One day I’ll take that trip, one day I’ll change jobs, one day I’ll get fit, one day I’ll study, one day, one day, one day,
"ONE DAY I WILL BE HAPPY ONCE I GET THERE."
So how does this happen? How do we live presently in gratitude happy with the quotes to lift us up momentarily only to find as if over night we have plunked right back down in being over worked, underpaid, running around like mad men with no real tread towards what we really wanted to do in the first place?
So what’s missing? How do some people just mange to “make things happen” while the rest of us plod along hoping for some miracle to happen overnight then we will get where we want to be in our lives sooner.
How do we make these “live in the moments” a reality? And really make positive changes in our lives?.
What't the formula?
In 2015 my motto was this “don’t sell yourself a future version of happiness” I would tell all my clients this; that the time is now, now to make changes, now to really live, now to really start being the person you wanted to be yesterday!!.
But somewhere along the way I lost sight of my own goals and aspirations, my dreams were close to my heart but very far away in terms of turning them into a reality. I had sunk down into a fear based storyline for myself and felt there were certain things I needed in order first before obtaining these goals. I became very tiered from running around ragged trying to please all and put my own dreams on hold for I felt deep down I had to wait but wait for what?.
In December 2015 at the end of a very difficult year I sat myself down and had a little chat with self. I was knackered, burnt out, and not the best version of myself, the plans I had going on in my life and the things I had to look forward to seemed a consolation prize to what I really wanted deep down. I stand true and firm by my words and when I don’t listen to the advice, coaching love and support I happily give out all the time well something is very wrong and off balance indeed.
I realised the reasons I was not living my truth now was because I was stuck. I kept telling myself I am working towards my goals, at some point I will get there. But overnight time flew by and I was no more closer to where I wanted to be than six months ago, in fact it felt further away than ever.
The three main steps
After much thinking I put myself in my clients shoes, what would I tell them if they came to me feeling unhappy in the present moment, stuck and waiting for the future for things to change.
I came up with three things to work on when wanting to really make changes and tested the method.
My present moment was muddled, what I was actually doing and what I wanted to be doing were not in alignment, I had convinced myself that what I was doing now was working towards those goals. But when I truly sat down to think about it all, everything I was doing was in complete opposite. Deep down I knew there was a life I truly wanted and sold this future version to myself to keep me in a state of happiness in the present. But without really truly 100% sitting down and getting completely clear how was this to really unfold. This is something we do time and time again in our lives.
So number one !!, sit down, have a chat with self and get clear on your goals - sometimes what we think we want for ourselves isn't actually what we need, so this takes putting on the BIG girl/boy pants and being totally honest. Where do you really see yourself?, what changes do you REALLY want to make?. Start off with something small to start then apply to other areas in your life.
Getting CLEAR really starts to get your ideas, intentions and motivation grounding into the present moment. It helps to gain insights on whether what you are doing RIGHT now is actually moving towards your goals or against them.
Feeling stuck and unsure on your goals? a great affirmation to repeat daily "I want to know what I want" keep repeating and be open to new insights and messages in your life.
Now you are clear on your goal (again start small if you need), write down some of the steps you would need to take to reach your goal and make it happen. Then pick the smallest most simple option, commit to self to take the plunge - this can be anything all dependant on your goals - researching new jobs, looking at cheap flights, doing some research and start.
The moment you are clear and make a step towards your goal you will start to feel in control of your life again, feeling empowered you are making changes in the right direction to where you want to be and doing with YOUR LIFE.
When we get caught up in the daily hustles, LIFE just happens without control. When we sit down and start to mindfully think about our goals we start to create life by design, with intention and feel empowered and motivated to keep going.
As with all things in life "best laid plans", Life can get overwhelming, stories, fears and limiting beliefs play a HUGE part in blocking us from getting to where we need to be in life.
The most important thing to remember is YOUR ARE IN CONTROL!!. It may not seem like it, especially when life throws those yummy curve balls right in your parts that hurt the most. It can feel traumatic, like we didn't get the magic that the other kids get to play with. But from someone that has had their fair share of crap in life I learnt we are all still here, standing and every day is a blessing of magic and gratitude from the universe.
So remember you CAN get clear on your goals, take a recess from life, sit down with "self" and have a good honest talk - if your not feeling it where you are, take a walk, take some time, be good to yourself. You don't have to keep going in the direction that isn't working for you. There are always options and always a way to change course into your happiness.
So get clear, take action and keep going, baby step by baby step and meet self where your at with love, support and nurturing.
You are your own Miracle and LIFE is so so ready for you to step into this understanding of living life with mindful intentions, beautiful loving goals with lots of fun and play time. Each moment is all we have so make each moment count with what you feel you NEED in your heart.
Back in December 2015 I went through this process, and wrote this Blog whilst flying on a one-way ticket to Mexico. My clear goals were to work and travel whilst helping as many people as I could live a more authentic life and share all the spiritual tools I use daily that help me to understand this complicated but amazing beautiful life.
So from someone who jumped off the cliff, I am here to say "come on in the waters great".
What would be your No. one goal to work towards in this moment? and what would be your first action step towards that goal? comment below and I look forward to hearing about your progress.
Your time is NOW
Let's all start stepping into the freaking awesome human & spiritual divine beings that we are, shine out lights bright and enjoy life.
LOVE LOVE LOVE
Would you like a FREE course on meditation and heart opening?
Hit subscribe below xx