Coming out of the spiritual closet

This has been weighing on my mind recently and finally this morning I come to a solution.  Let this Blog be my “coming out of the spiritual closet”.  You see for way too long now, most of my life I hid. My tangled web of fears and limiting beliefs held me back from living my 100% authentic truth.

From a very young age, I had many paranormal experiences and other worldly encounters that simply could not be explained by science or the “rational mind”.  Unfortunately as like many others who were “Empathic/gifted/with sight”, were laughed at and not taken seriously.  I always knew deep down in my heart that we were all energy, that we were all connected somehow.  I could understand a little about the “law of attraction” but never really looked into it much.  I was the last generation who had a child hood completely free from the internet which was great but it kept a divide between other people like myself.  Around the age of 8 or 9 I blocked myself from allowing any of these experiences to happen anymore, it was a very turbulent time growing up in my house hold and the only grounding I had to hold onto was to act as “normal” as I could.  This was my way of rejecting the energy from my parents for they were going through their lessons.

I had blocked out so much of my past I also blocked out all of my “experiences”, my gifts and sight -  slowly this part of my light was forgotten.  Moving into my teens, school was very difficult for me only really relating to the energy of the teachers over my peers.  I could always feel something deep inside of me was different from the others but never knew what.  I still felt strong energy in certain places, drained around certain people, or always had a freak knowledge of advice to pass onto someone at the right time.  Whenever I put my intentions out into the world things just always seemed to “work out”.  I never really connected the dots or understood what was going on.

Into my 20s all was forgotten about my growing up, the vague memories I did have were a couple of times I felt something in my room at night.  But as ever in the world these stories turn into entertainment and never looked into more.

In 2011, I had a freaking massive shake up, a messy and hard heart breaking break up lead me to really evaluate my entire life.  I knew in that moment that I needed to really take my next steps with intentions to build a life that was in alignment with who I am and what felt right for me.  And so started the journey back to my truth and back to my heart. 

Through self development, meditation, education, and making some life choices to get healthier and follow regular exercise things started to shift. 

With these shifts came what you would call “an awakening”.  In 2011 I awoke to myself again, who I was before all the fear, limiting beliefs and social conditioning had kicked in.  A flood of memories came back to me, everything I started to read resonated with the very core of my being.  It was the first time in my life I found who I WAS, and not who I thought I had to be.

Each moment of learning lead to things starting to clear, things starting to shift and then things started to happen.

I found 10000s of people online who were also going through the exact same self awareness as I was.  The first time I read an Article on “Are you an Empath?”, I broke down into tears for it explained perfectly all I could never quite put my finger on.  An empath is a person born with extra sensitivities, (wired differently) to the world,  they have an enormous amount of empathy for all living things and can feel the energy of what another is going through.  It’s like we have a radio antenna on top of our heads and can tune in or tune out to any other frequency around us (Ie another person, place, animal.  The trouble is when we don’t know we tune in to all the energy, which explains most of my overwhelm and sickness growing up and into my 20s.

But it didn’t stop there, I realised through an extensive amount of learning that there really was so much more to life, everything I had felt deep inside the core of my being was being re-shown and re-gifted to me once more.  I realised that we really are part of a much bigger plan and the following years would see the biggest shift ever known to mankind and that is a shift in consciousness.

That was 5 years ago, and From those very first few moments I never imagined in my wildest dreams I would be sat here writing this blog to share with the world.  But I realise that I am doing the world a disservice by hiding.  I know in my heart the next 30 years will see some of the biggest changes on this planet known to man and it is my duty as a citizen of Earth and a spiritual being to have full discloser. 

Over the years has marked some of the BIGGEST healings in my spiritual journey on Earth, and each time I am stronger and feel more love and more light.  I feel more in alignment with my souls calling and can feel the flow of energy in all things.

When I first “woke up”, I kept this hidden for some time. Friends would mock I was turning into a monk, hippy or other stereo type phrases.  We mock what we choose to ignore or choose to not understand in other humans.  I know deep down people just couldn't relate to me any more, I could keep the pretence up when I hid the other 50% of me but this in itself started to grow tiring as I had to "edit" my conversations and when I did try to talk a little more freely I was called a hippy again or laughed at. So again I did what what I did when I was a child and hid, hid all my love, joy, understandings and learnings of the spiritual realms in my closet.   Deep down I feel the love and support from my muggle friends and I love them dearly too, but for me to live an authentic life in personal and business I need to come out from hiding, come clean with my beliefs and share every thing for I know I can help more people by stepping forward.  Slowly but surly more people will be inspired to shine their lights brighter and start to effect more and more with our findings. 

 When you first wake up it’s like this.

“Fuck have I just completely missed the point of what I am meant to be doing down here?, how many lifetimes did this take to finally understand?, are there others who get this?. 

It’s kind of motivating as Morpheus would said in the Matrix, “take the Blue pill go back to your life, take the red pill and see how far the rabbit hole goes.”

I took the red pill.............

5 years has seen a crazy amount of learning, experiences, healing, crying, letting go, ego and lessons has lead me to this moment here.

What happened?.  As I sit here I am in knowledge, freedom and strength.  I feel and understand what people mean when they say unconditional love, I know my souls’ calling and have healed my heart beyond anything I could of ever imagined and continue to anchor these learnings every day. 

My “woo woo” gifts are being returned to me, and my life gets easier and easier and easier.  Of course I don’t have all the answers, I am still learning what all this really truly means. As I keep waking up and re-learn my spiritual tools I am really starting to understand our connection, our need for love, why we are here, and of course the most important aspect of all this is to live in playfulness, laughter, creativity, adventure and joy and LOVE. 

During the past 5 years I went pretty far down the rabbit hole and as much resistance I have to be writing this piece on coming out, I can’t afford not to.  I started to regain all that I had lost as a child, seeing, sensing, feeling and hearing energy all around me.  I saw colours around people, and then started to see more into the other realms of reality.  I could directly feel the presence of ghosts, people that had crossed over, angels, spirit guides, higher dimensional beings, remote viewing, astral projections, etc etc etc.  I am now a clear channel for the higher energies to come through and assist us at this time during our shifts.  I have been strongly called to share all this content with the world for it will help others to grow and evolve also.

This is my life, I live, eat and breath this awareness every day and have seen firsthand the benefits of having this re-connect to the world, to the divine, to my heart.  

Waking up is not all fairies, pixie dust, rainbows and unicorns!!.  You get days like you have been slapped in the face with a wet fish, or feel like your body is 20 feet under the ground, or complete overwhelm to be around people.  The more you understand, grow and evolve the deeper the life learnings, the more karmic crap from other lives become apparent and the more your whole energetic body keeps shifting and shifting and shifting where by the physical body doesn't know if you have been to an all night rave or in a fight.  You really do wade through the mud of all your crap, you can't hide behind your ego any more for ego is there butt naked and exposed for all it's sabotaging behaviours. It can be isolating as hell and all you want to do is go back to how things were before, before you saw through the illusions of life.  You loose friends, jobs, lives, time.  You are constantly shifting in and out of this realm and into the others whilst receiving multiple messages from Jean in Australia who wants her only daughter to know she's in love and light now.  You see through the BS conversations, victims stories and lies.  there are days when you just wanna be you again, you want the universe to stop, slow down and breathe. 

But something deep inside of you knows to keep going, to keep clearing, to keep healing, to keep laughing, to keep playing, to keep loving, to keep opening and expanding your heart and slowly you move past the roller coaster of emotions. You balance and learn to live in equal harmony with both worlds, you feel lighter, more energised and feel at peace with all.  You naturally want to keep sharing you restored light with the world and feel the world wants to share it's light with you.  You go through lessons but they seem of no great stress any more for you know to move past with love and understanding.  You see the gifts wrapped in barbed wire and live in humble service a gratitude.  New people come into your life and your clear connection with the universe helps with your life 100% every single day.  You get to have fun with manifesting, energy healing, abundance and soul missions sometimes taking you 1/2 way around the world.  You see the glitter in life and want to help co-create a beautiful planet once more.  

This is my truth, to share my heart 100%. 

It would be a crying shame for me to continue to hide all that I have to offer away in the closet.  For people need people like me to stand up and “come out” to be brave, to feel the fear and jump in anyways.  I want to share all of my learnings, my experiences, my spiritual work and all of what I see in the world with everyone.

You may mock, you my judge, you may laugh, you may resist.  This is ok, for I understand you are on your path and I am on mine but I can no longer hide the other 50% of myself for it has helped my life transform, has helped build a promising business and is the reason why I am sat on top of a hill over looking the ocean in gratitude for life.

So It’s done, it’s shared and this is my truth.

I am a spiritual being living a physical existence, I live in both worlds and it’s freaking awesome !!. Every day is a new adventure of understanding, play, joy and love. 

If you have read this far and want to learn how to live your 100% truth, then I lovingly invite you to like. comment, share and I look forward to connecting with you.

Phew, it’s done that feels good. :) 

Let’s all stop playing the game of “hide who we are” and all come out of our closets.  Who are you really?

I hope to inspire others to come out and live the most authentic version of your self so we may shine our lights together and lift the spirits of the world. 

Thank you for reading and feel free to comment below, I love connecting and sharing stories.  To keep in the loop with new blog posts, book launch date, sign up below and i'll send you my FREE meditation course for self-love. 

 

 

 

 

Selling yourself a future version of happiness?

 

“Life is precious”

“Life is a gift”

“Seize the day”

“Be present”

“Live in the now”

“Live like there is no tomorrow”

We have all heard these generic expressions which uplift us momentarily, giving us a sense of freedom that anything is possible given the chance.

If we just changed our thoughts our perception of life would soon follow suit and life would unfold beautifully into the way that we had hoped right?

But what does this actually mean?,  and deep down do we truly believe this to be true?.

If you are like me then you try live as presently as you can, taking each moment of life with the up most of gratitude. Living contently that you are working towards your goals and one day things will fall into place but for now we know why we are doing the things we are doing.

We ALL have dreams and aspirations, and most of us work really HARD towards those goals to make them a reality.   Sometimes it feels as if life keeps moving the goal posts, life takes over with commitments and somewhere along the way the happiness of the present moment was taken over by stress and fear and we convince ourselves we have to go through this to get to our end result.

Unknowingly this way of thinking can spiral out of control whereby we end up

“SELLING OURSELVES A FUTURE VERSION OF HAPPINESS”

One day I’ll take that trip, one day I’ll change jobs, one day I’ll get fit, one day I’ll study, one day, one day, one day,

 "ONE DAY I WILL BE HAPPY ONCE I GET THERE." 

So how does this happen? How do we live presently in gratitude happy with the quotes to lift us up momentarily only to find as if over night we have plunked right back down in being over worked, underpaid, running around like mad men with no real tread towards what we really wanted to do in the first place?

So what’s missing? How do some people just mange to “make things happen” while the rest of us plod along hoping for some miracle to happen overnight then we will get where we want to be in our lives sooner. 

How do we make these “live in the moments” a reality? And really make positive changes in our lives?.

What't the formula? 

In 2015 my motto was this “don’t sell yourself a future version of happiness” I would tell all my clients  this; that the time is now, now to make changes, now to really live, now to really start being the person you wanted to be yesterday!!.

But somewhere along the way I lost sight of my own goals and aspirations, my dreams were close to my heart but very far away in terms of turning them into a reality.  I had sunk down into a fear based storyline for myself and felt there were certain things I needed in order first before obtaining these goals. I became very tiered from running around ragged trying to please all and put my own dreams on hold for I felt deep down I had to wait but wait for what?.

In December 2015 at the end of a very difficult year I sat myself down and had a little chat with self.  I was knackered, burnt out, and not the best version of myself, the plans I had going on in my life and the things I had to look forward to seemed a consolation prize to what I really wanted deep down.  I stand true and firm by my words and when I don’t listen to the advice, coaching love and support I happily give out all the time well something is very wrong and off balance indeed.

I realised the reasons I was not living my truth now was because I was stuck.  I kept telling myself I am working towards my goals, at some point I will get there.  But overnight time flew by and I was no more closer to where I wanted to be than six months ago, in fact it felt further away than ever.

The three main steps

After much thinking I put myself in my clients shoes, what would I tell them if they came to me feeling unhappy in the present moment, stuck and waiting for the future for things to change. 

I came up with  three things to work on when wanting to really make changes and tested the method. 

get clear 

take action 

follow through

 

My present moment was muddled, what I was actually doing and what I wanted to be doing were not in alignment, I had convinced myself that what I was doing now was working towards those goals. But when I truly sat down to think about it all, everything I was doing was in complete opposite.  Deep down I knew there was a life I truly wanted and sold this future version to myself to keep me in a state of happiness in the present. But without really truly 100% sitting down and getting completely clear how was this to really unfold.  This is something we do time and time again in our lives.

So number one !!, sit down, have a chat with self and get clear on your goals - sometimes what we think we want for ourselves isn't actually what we need, so this takes putting on the BIG girl/boy pants and being totally honest.  Where do you really see yourself?, what changes do you REALLY want to make?.  Start off with something small to start then apply to other areas in your life.  

Getting CLEAR really starts to get your ideas, intentions and motivation grounding into the present moment.  It helps to gain insights on whether what you are doing RIGHT now is actually moving towards your goals or against them. 

Feeling stuck and unsure on your goals? a great affirmation to repeat daily "I want to know what I want" keep repeating and be open to new insights and messages in your life. 

TAKING ACTION 

Now you are clear on your goal (again start small if you need), write down some of the steps you would need to take to reach your goal and make it happen.  Then pick the smallest most simple option, commit to self to take the plunge - this can be anything all dependant on your goals - researching new jobs, looking at cheap flights, doing some research and start. 

The moment you are clear and make a step towards your goal you will start to feel in control of your life again, feeling empowered you are making changes in the right direction to where you want to be and doing with YOUR LIFE. 

When we get caught up in the daily hustles, LIFE just happens without control.  When we sit down and start to mindfully think about our goals we start to create life by design, with intention and feel empowered and motivated to keep going. 

Follow through 

As with all things in life "best laid plans",  Life can get overwhelming, stories, fears and limiting beliefs play a HUGE part in blocking us from getting to where we need to be in life.  

The most important thing to remember is YOUR ARE IN CONTROL!!.  It may not seem like it, especially when life throws those yummy curve balls right in your parts that hurt the most. It can feel traumatic, like we didn't get the magic that the other kids get to play with.  But from someone that has had their fair share of crap in life I learnt we are all still here, standing and every day is a blessing of magic and gratitude from the universe.

So remember you CAN get clear on your goals, take a recess from life, sit down with "self" and have a good honest talk - if your not feeling it where you are, take a walk, take some time, be good to yourself.  You don't have to keep going in the direction that isn't working for you.  There are always options and always a way to change course into your happiness. 

So get clear, take action and keep going, baby step by baby step and meet self where your at with love, support and nurturing. 

You are your own Miracle and LIFE is so so ready for you to step into this understanding of living life with mindful intentions, beautiful loving goals with lots of fun and play time.  Each moment is all we have so make each moment count with what you feel you NEED in your heart. 

Back in December 2015 I went through this process, and wrote this Blog whilst flying on a one-way ticket to Mexico.  My clear goals were to work and travel whilst helping as many people as I could live a more authentic life and share all the spiritual tools I use daily that help me to understand this complicated but amazing beautiful life. 

So from someone who jumped off the cliff, I am here to say "come on in the waters great". 

What would be your No. one goal to work towards in this moment? and what would be your first action step towards that goal? comment below and I look forward to hearing about your progress. 

Your time is NOW 

Let's all start stepping into the freaking awesome human & spiritual divine beings that we are, shine out lights bright and enjoy life. 

LOVE LOVE LOVE 

Zxx

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